Out of the Night That Covered Me...

Though few have missed it, the Express is back, resuscitated by a personal spiritual resurrection, and a mesh of social, political, and faith events to which I feel an urge to respond.

Why the many months of silence? Principally because of a crisis of rhetorical confidence I experienced beginning last fall. For reasons I hope I understand, last year I entered a lonely and sizeable desert in which I no longer believed I had anything meaningful to say, that any entries made to this blog would have been contrived reflections I didn’t need to write, and no one needed to read. Yes, in the desert I continued to create sermons and newsletter articles, but they often felt forced – like products of Sunday worship necessity or monthly publishing deadlines – not fresh. For a period longer and more enslaving than I can remember experiencing, I couldn’t imagine anyone caring about anything I had to say.

Of even more concern, while in that desert I lost my desire, and perhaps even my ability, to reflect on life and the world through the filter of faith. I think I stopped caring about the spiritual implications of what happened in the world, nation, or community in which I live. Significant events, which before the desert would have roused me to commentary, passed, creating a stir whose reach extended only until the next issue, event, or distraction.

Combined, the aforementioned senses of irrelevance and disregard doomed the Express to months of silence.

But things have changed. In the last couple of weeks I have felt an occasional urge to write, to add my voice to some of the recently-erupted debates. And here on a Sunday night, much to my and probably your surprise, I am actually tapping keys and connecting thoughts. The Express is back...at least for now.

What’s changed is my attitude. I doubt last year’s desert wanderings arose from incompetence or lack of eloquence. They came as a consequence of a pessimism about the church and my ministry that had consumed my spirit. This destructive spirit started long before the Express derailed, meaning that most of the previous entries you read here were produced from remnants of energy already in the pipeline – think of water that’s in the garden hose when you turn off the faucet.

The water’s now flowing again because I have largely defeated the pessimism. Where for months – that collected into years – I felt increasingly hopeless about the future of the church I serve, and consequently about the prospects and consequence of my ministry, I now feel encouraged and excited. I look forward to preaching. I expect good things to come from worship. I know God is not finished with me or our congregation.

With this entry, waters from the new-flowing stream have at last reached the business end of the Express’s long-arid hose. Praise God.

So, look for more from me, more often. There is more to tell about my spiritual awakening. We have to talk about Jeremiah Wright (Barack Obama’s former pastor) and John Hagee (the pastor who has endorsed John McCain). We have talk about the spiritual implications of war (in Iraq, for example). We have to talk about guns and violence. We have to talk... or at least, I need to write. I hope you will want to read.

Get ready to ride the new Express, and consider responding via the Comments link below each entry, a feature I encourage you to use right now, if you wish to respond to what you have just read.


Let’s pray...
God of all wanderings and wanderers, it’s lonely and unlit out in the deserts of our lives. Find us, direct us, protect us, then welcome us back home. In the name of Jesus, Amen.